Sorry to spoil the punchline, but there's no better headline. From the Chicago Tribune, May 5, 1987:
"Duemling said a contra doctor requested 60,000 containers of dental floss and thousands of toothbrushes and tubes of toothpaste to start a major dental care program for the contra troops and their families.
But contra military leaders said few Nicaraguans use dental floss and questioned whether the department should have filled that part of the order.
'We're guerillas,' one said. 'We don't floss our teeth.'"
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